Why a Chinese girl?
Do you have a bad case of ‘Yellow Fever’?
Although this term can sound impolite to some, those that use it are rarely intending to be rude. More often than not, they simply want to say how enamored and enraptured they are by Chinese girls. Perhaps they’ve fallen in love with a Chinese girl or they’ve seen a beautiful Chinese girl in a movie or on television. Whether a Japan beautiful girl, a Korean beautiful girl or a Chinese beautiful girl, the Asian beauty they possess can be mesmerizing. More and more Western men each day are interested in dating Chinese girls.
But where can they be found?
The obvious and somewhat silly answer is ‘China’ – of course. With a population of nearly 1.4 Billion people, China is full of Chinese ladies for dating and socializing. If it isn’t convenient for you to go there, perhaps you can have some luck in your own town. Chances are that you have some Chinese girls that you work with or that live near your home. If you are in a rural area, and not near many Chinese people, you can also go on line to find Chinese dating sites and social sites where you are always apt to find a Chinese woman that lives not far from you. If this still is not so easy for you to do, you can connect with Chinese girls on line and meet one in China. If things go well, you can make a plan to meet at some later date. This can be in your local area or you can make an exciting trip to China to meet her.
What will she be like?
Chinese morals and ethics are usually a bit different than Westerners: Sometimes extremely different and even sometimes quite similar. It depends on the case. If she is a girl that lives in a very isolated all-Chinese environment – which is quite common – she will make assumptions about you and have certain qualities herself. Although there are many Buddhist traditions and ancestor worship rituals that many Chinese observe, this is nothing like the religious morals and ethics of the West. Burning fake paper money is nothing like being raised to go to church and love your brother as yourself. There are no tenets that include sacrifice or fellowship or respect for God or even respect for others. Most of Chinese culture is based upon being prosperous and saving face. More on this later, but suffice it to say, morals and ethics as they are known in the Christian West are mostly non-existent.
So, what is her viewpoint?
Her viewpoint can be as diverse and anyone’s in the world because she is an individual. We don’t want to make broad stereotypical generalities here, but we do know some things about the Chinese culture. If the shoe fits, wear it. The Chinese consider themselves to be the oldest and most advanced civilization. Because they are Asian and the men have little hair on their face and bodies, they are often told this is a sign of being more evolved. In fact, they call each other ‘Hua Ren’ which means ‘advanced people’. The Chinese are also taught that they have the oldest culture – despite the fact that older cultures have been found in Iran and Syria. They are also often taught that their technology and medicine are more advanced, but this is fading with more exposure to the West. An incredibly strong nationalism is usually found within the heart of all Chinese and this can be more religious in nature than the strongest zealot. Her family and especially parents will usually dictate her life because no foreigner has the right. Even common Chinese people that she doesn’t know may have a strong influence on her behavior – even stronger than her Western husband’s.
What drives her?
Most Chinese are driven by the need to have or keep ‘face’. This means driving a nice car will be very important to her. Having nice clothes and being looked at and admired mean that she has arrived and has status in life. The man she chooses need not be handsome or intelligent. But he must be even tempered, shrewd in business, and rich enough to make her look good. In China, it often doesn’t matter if he is married or has other girls. As long as the Chinese girl gets what she wants, she doesn’t care about what he does when he is away. The Chinese are a very practical and pragmatic people – perhaps the most practical on earth. Chinese girls are looking for security, and if the man is older, this doesn’t matter as much. It is not considered a loss of face if her boyfriend is old. As long as he has money and takes care of her.
So what is she up to when dating me?
As mentioned in the previous section, she probably is looking for something most women want: Security and a man that loves them. If you have a stable life, some good income or cash on hand, and if you are interested in her, she will probably stick with you. If you are already married, she will probably not expect you to divorce – although she might prefer that. Instead she will just look to you to help her to have a nice life. Perhaps give her money to open her own boutique or other small business. If you are single, she most likely will want marriage and will not want to date. She will expect to have and hold you for the long run and provide for here and your children in a way that gives the children a prosperous future and a pampered life.
Money in the Chinese culture means much more than it does in the West. You normally won’t see people splitting the bill after a meal. The one with the most power or money or the host will pay for everyone. This harks back to the feudalism that is the strong foundation of Chinese behavior. Money means power. Money means beauty. Money means success. Money means superiority. It doesn’t mean generosity, or wisdom or altruism. Deng Xiao Ping said ‘to be rich is glorious’. This was pretty much a green light for all Chinese to be as greedy as they want and ignore anything about Communist values or comrades and ‘the people’.
If you have money to buy a nice big expensive car, you can drive where and when you like. Drive drunk, drive on the wrong side of the road, and ignore all traffic laws. In China, the police are bought as a matter of course, so money means freedom from any legal accountability as well. Money means almost everything to those living deep in the Chinese culture.
How about Chinese girls and romance?
Are they adventuresome?
Chinese girls in public can be quite prude and not even given to holding hands. If they live in the West, it may become something they like and feel good about. If they are surrounded by other Chinese, chances are they will be quite conservative because ‘face’ is more important than almost anything like compassion, affection, or spontaneity. In the bedroom, they can be quite different. Some sexy Chinese women can be real tigers. They will wear you out. Some sexy Chinese girls can be quite conservative even when the door is closed. The Western sexy girls are often ready to experiment in the bedroom, but Chinese sexy girls often have no idea or interest in new sexual adventures. Their culture is more designed to keep the man, but not necessarily to be adventuresome.
But all are different in the end.
So now that you have your Chinese girl and have experience with Chinese Dating Worldwide, where do you go from here? If you want to maintain the status quo, you may be surprised at her reaction. Chinese girls know if they are being ‘kept’ or if the man is available for marriage and this is important. If you are free, she will probably want a life-long commitment. If you don’t make that available within a relatively short amount of time – like 6 months – she may go looking for someone else. If you do decide to marry, be ready to be part of the family.
You may even be just an accessory to the family if her sense of tradition is strong and the family is living nearby. If this is the case, be ready to take a backseat and follow along when it comes to holidays and traditions. Sometimes this is the price we pay when we are truly in love.