Have you fallen in love with a Chinese girl? If not, are you thinking about dating a Chinese girl? When it comes to Chinese dating, there are many aspects to consider including the issue of family. Sometimes it can be a problem, sometimes it can be an asset. Sometimes it may not be an issue at all. Let’s take a closer look.
Dating Chinese girls, ladies or women can be a challenge at times because of differences in culture. We may not know about some issues when we just get started, but after we become more familiar, get to know more details about the person and the hours together add up, potential conflicts can and often do arise. One specific aspect of the life of Chinese people is the strength of the culture in their lives. Like many ethnic groups that move to the West to start a new life in a new country, old habits and traditions can be very strong. How strong is the loyalty in your Chinese girlfriend to her culture?
Oftentimes it is much stronger than you think. She may love you very deeply, but if her father says ‘no’ to you, you don’t have a chance. It is only the very rare Chinese person that can see beyond their upbringing and think for themselves. These kinds of people have been thinking for themselves for years and can usually speak good English. They also have many foreign friends and understand much about the world. In this case, family is not an issue because the family usually trusts the young lady and will simply wish her well.
In the great majority of cases, when you are dating Chinese ladies, there is some influence from the family and the ancient Chinese cultural ideas. Just to give an example, there are rules about how to thank someone for filling your glass. There are also rules about when to fill the glass and how full to fill it depending upon if you are drinking beer or tea. If you don’t know these rules or break one of these rules, you can be looked down upon. If there are such rules about filling a glass, you can imagine the rules when it comes to dating.
Chances are, the Chinese woman you date will be a bit independent because if she were completely buried in tradition, she wouldn’t date a western man. This is true of millions and millions of girls in China today.
If the girl is open to dating a westerner and her family approves, there will be a fine line to walk between keeping your independence as a couple and respecting the family traditions.
For example, you must be humble, polite and respectful when addressing the older family members – especially the parents. Pay attention and follow others when drinks and foods are served. Try to have gifts of fruit or other interesting but generic items to offer when you arrive. There can be no displays of affection in front of others. If your Chinese Dating partner has some advice for you, it is better that you take it instead of standing your ground based upon some principle. Otherwise, you may find yourself alone again.